Try too hard?

Sometimes I feel like that parent who everyone looks at and thinks, Man.. she is trying too hard to fit in. :(

I am/was a member of an on-line community. For a year or so, I was obsessed (yea admitting it) with "belonging" I needed to "feel" important there. Until, I read something I was not supposed to read. and found out what some people thought of me, that I thought were my friends. I am devastated, to say the least. I never really re-covered or felt like home there again. I still go, still post.. but part of me died that day. I guess I was trying too hard. I still yearn to belong there, but feel like I am forgotten, a thing of the past now. :(

Lately, been really getting involved with stuff for kids. Dance, baseball, soccer, etc. I love being a parent to kids who are participating in things. But again, I am not sure I belong. I try to socialize, talk to other parents there. They talk to me, but I see them talking amongst themselves much more animated and intimate than they do with me. Are they just tolerating me? Am I "trying too hard to fit in?"

As a parent, staying at home with 3 kids, I long for adult interaction. I need stimulating comverstation.. something about a topic NOT involving Star wars, princesses or Elmo... I have friends, we are great together, but we only get together about once every 6 weeks. The parents at sporting things, dance, ballet.. I see them every single week. And I wonder, am I trying to hard?

When does the need for acceptance become too much? At times, it feels like high school, jr. high.. and I am still the heavy kid in the corner, socializing with everyone, but never really fitting in anywhere....